Monday, August 15, 2011
Need help calming down?
Ok, This is what's happening. I'm a 22 year old girl, and I'm pretty sure I'm a Hypochondriac. I have been like this all my life but now it seems it has gotten worse. It started on this last November when one morning I got up and I noticed I started losing hair more than usual. A few days later it kept falling off so I started to get depressed.I cried for an entire day and didn't eat for 2 days straight. Everyone I told about said I was just exaggerating and I was fine. I was CONVINCED I had Alopecia. (Autoinmune desease that attacks your hair follicles mistaking your hair for something harmful) I went to the doctor and it was just a scalp infection. after a MONTH I let go of the fear of going bald, everything was fine for like a week or 2. Then one day I was here on my laptop and I had the news on on tv and they talked about a 70 year old man that was going to die of stomach cancer and they were making his last wish come true. After that I started looking for stomach cancer symptoms and all of the sudden the next day I was feeling bloated and always checking myself for any other symptom. Went to doc and he said I probably have a lot of acid in my stomach and he prescribed me an anti acid. Lasted for 2 horrible weeks with this worry. The rest of December was fine but.. here's what worrying me at the moment, right now. Like a week ago this pain on my left eye came to me out of nowhere. Now, I didnt gave it much thought. But as the days ped thoughts were coming to my head, maybe I have something bad in my eye, I knew what was gonna happen if I let those thoughts continue so I tried to ignore them. I did for a while but they came back eventually. Now, I have like a red dot on my left eye on the white are for like a year now, so I thought maybe the dot and the pain that came to me a few days back are connected. So I went online and started looking and stuff, then this cursed name came into my screen "Glaucoma" I said to myself I can't have that my visual field is fine.. I think. So I started checking how big my visual field is and now I convinced myself I have the darn thing and my vision is in danger and that Im going blind. Since it says the disease comes without warning and when the person realases something is wrong is too late and you can't recover the vision you lost, I'm freaking out. Sometimes I can calm myself but not all the way. And the way I do is by checking my field of vision like every 5 minutes. But I want to stop completely, I want to calm myself already and just stop thinking I have every disease I see. My stomach gets upset just thinking I could go blind and I have this urge of seeing the eye specialist. I have been wearing gles since the fourth grade. All of the sudden Im convinced I cant see like I should and I just freak out and right now I feel like throwing up. Please help.. No mean comments please I just want to calm down.. I feel so deseperate. (Sorry for any typos English is my second language Spanish is first)
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